This has been a long process, but I’ve finally achieved it. Wardrobe Nirvana.
Every piece in my closet has a purpose. Everything fits. A lot of it is quite new, and none of it is from high school (finally!). Everything goes together, mixes, matches, and “fits” into one cohesive style. Even my jewelry. Now, instead of taking forever to get dressed in the morning because I hate everything I own, I take forever to get dressed because I LOVE everything I own and can’t decide which ones to wear that day! Lately I have been spending hours in the evenings playing dress-up, creating new combinations and new outfits and I get so excited to wear everything out into the real world outside of my bedroom.
I can’t honestly say what caused this. It’s been a long, slow process getting to this point. I think it started when I got home from my year in New York City. I spent that year surrounded by fashionable, hip people, and I realized my own wardrobe needed some serious help. I was still stuck in the t-shirt-hoodie-grungy-jeans-and-Converse-every-day routine from high school and I wanted to get out of it. Then I got my first job and had completely expendable income for a year (by which I mean I didn’t have any immediate expenses, and being 19 and unsure what my next step would be I had no concept of saving for the future), and I discovered Forever 21, H&M, Burlington Coat Factory, and Gabriel Brothers. And I shopped. A lot.
I bought anything that looked halfway decent on me. I bought some things that fit, and a lot of things that didn’t (especially shoes) because they were out of my size but dammit I had to have it and I’d make it work (hint: it never worked). I stalked my New York friends’ Facebook pictures for outfit inspiration. I tried to be trendy even though it usually felt and looked ridiculous on me. It was around this time that I met Jason and in retrospect I’m surprised he found me attractive at all in the midst of my hodgepodge cheap clothes palooza.
Now don’t get me wrong, I did find some of my favorite pieces during this phase, some that I still wear and love to this day. But once I moved to Pittsburgh and had to finally pull the purse strings shut, so to speak, I learned to buy only what I really loved, and only what would carry me through many, many seasons and match what I already had to work with. I spent hours looking at style blogs (there’s the key — style, not fashion), I visually appraised every young woman’s outfit I saw on the street, on the bus, at school, at the store. I started to really pay attention to the styles that spoke to me, and I stopped shopping at the throwaway dime-a-dozen juniors’ stores. Instead I ventured into stores like Express, Banana Republic, and even the petites departments of Macy’s and JC Penney. It was there that I finally found what I was looking for: sophisticated, stylish, timeless pieces that still maintained some youth about them and weren’t matronly or shapeless. These pieces were also much higher quality than the junk I was buying previously, and thus they cost more, but they’re holding up much better — both physically and style-wise — than anything I bought at a juniors’ store. I consider it money well spent.
The flip side of this is the countless times I’ve gotten rid of old and unwanted items. I can honestly count on one hand the number of items I still have and wear regularly that I bought at the start of this quest for wardrobe nirvana. There were things I got rid of after only a few wears, or sometimes none at all, that were impulse buys, fell apart, or were uncomfortably ill-fitting. There were things I wore to death and got sick of. There were things I just plain old decided I didn’t like anymore. Whatever the reason, I’ve spent — and wasted — a pretty penny over the past few years because I have not been a careful or critical shopper.
But I’m better now. Now, I have a few rules to shop by:
1. Go in with a clear idea of what you need and what you’re looking for. Bring along inspiration pictures if necessary.
2. With a few exceptions, do not buy anything unless it will create at least five other outfit combinations with things you already own. This may sound like a lot, but it’s really not impossible. I can buy a shirt that matches with three cardigans and two pairs of pants, or a scarf that matches five of my shirts, or shoes I can wear with anything. I highly recommend this rule if you find yourself buying a bunch of standalone pieces that are great on their own but don’t work with anything else. Exceptions are made sparingly to this rule if I find a highly original piece that I love, fits well, is within my budget, and which I can’t bring myself to pass up. Having a few standalone pieces is a-ok.
3. Don’t buy anything the first time you see it. Try things on, take pictures on your phone if need be, make notes (mental or otherwise) as to which pieces you like, and then — put it all back. Leave the store. Let it stew for a few days, go home and evaluate your wardrobe and decide if it would make a good addition. Then, if in a few days you find that you can’t stop thinking about it, it’s probably meant to be, so go back and buy it.
4. Return policies are your friends. Most stores will let you return an unworn, unwashed item with tags attached and receipt for a full refund in 15, 30, 60, or sometimes 90 days. Ask the cashier what the return policy is for that particular store. If you think you like a piece but need more time to stew over it and don’t want to force yourself into a decision in the dressing rooms, buy it, take it home, and stew over it there. Hang it in your closet, but keep the tags on and for god’s sake keep track of the receipt. Pull it out to look at it every so often — you’ll have a consistent gut reaction to it. Follow that reaction, and act accordingly.
4a. If the piece you find is on sale, clearance, or is the last in your size and unlikely to be restocked — check the return policy of the store, and if you can return it for a full cash refund, buy it on the spot. Take it home with you, try it on with things you already own, play dress-up with it (being careful not to render it nonreturnable, of course). If you like it — cool, cut off those tags and it’s yours. If you don’t like it — no worries, just bring it back. I do this quite a lot, and yes, it’s a bit more hassle, but sometimes you just can’t tell if something is going to fit in with your existing wardrobe unless you see it there, and who wants to risk that piece being gone if you do decide it’s perfect for you?
5. Don’t buy anything that doesn’t make you giddy with excitement in the fitting room. I’m serious. Yesterday I went to H&M and hit the jackpot, and I spent probably 45 minutes in the fitting room flouncing around in my new clothes because I was so excited about them. I wanted to parade around in them and shout from the rooftops, “Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!“. The same thing happened today in Burlington Coat Factory — I swear the dress I tried on was made for me, and I couldn’t wait to take it home and surprise Jason with it because I felt so pretty in it. (P.S. Jason — let’s go out to dinner. I want to wear my new dress.) If you buy something you feel so-so about (rules 4 and 4a notwithstanding), you’ll feel so-so about it when you get it home, and so-so about it when it’s in your closet, and eventually it’ll fall to the wayside. Don’t let that happen. You should feel good/fierce/sexy/strong/amazing/adjective-of-your-choice in your clothes.
I seriously suggest you try some of these if you struggle with clothes shopping. They really work.
In light of this, I think I might try some “outfit posts” here. Emily is not here to dither or play dress-up with, and Jason can only get so excited about my clothes, so I’ve got to share with somebody. Plus, it’ll give me something simpler, quicker, and more interesting to post about. Fun times!
Does anyone have any other clothes shopping tips or rules that they follow? Do tell!
