Alright, I have to be honest here.

Getting my dress was not quite as exciting as I had imagined at first.

It is still about a size too big in my bust, though we ordered the smallest size they make it in. (This is the story of my life. I wear a 30B bra…talk about “pancake chest”.) The waist is also “comfortably fitted”, i.e. not tight enough to hold the dress up or give me any curves — so it is also technically too big. It was wrinkled and smushed when I took it out of the garment bag, though I don’t really know what else I was expecting. It’s just a few inches too long, so that will also need altered. Basically the dress still feels like a store sample to me, still not really “mine”, because it doesn’t fit yet. But since the wedding isn’t until the end of June, I won’t do alterations until March or maybe even April, so for the next seven or eight months I’ve got this very expensive, too-big, too-long dress taking up space in my closet, and I still don’t really feel like I actually have a wedding dress. If the dress fit me right now I’d be ecstatic. But until then it won’t really be “mine” in my mind.

Anyway, I digress. Let’s rewind to Saturday, the day we picked it up. I met Emily at David’s Bridal and we met my consultant, Elayne, at the front. She pulled my dress, hidden in its garment bag so we still couldn’t see it, and led us back to a dressing room. She hung the dress up, unzipped the bag, stepped out to let me in, and said, “It’s all you.”

In I went, and nervously stripped down to my skivvies and put on my strapless bra. (Side note, it was so nice to be able to try on a dress with my own underwear on, instead of the awful longline bras and full-body slips they make you wear when trying on the samples.) I took the dress out of the garment bag and dived headfirst into the layers of tulle and chiffon. As I emerged out the other end I felt almost like I would vomit — would I hate the dress? Would it zip up? Would it be too long? I remember thinking, “Wow, this thing is really wrinkled and the boning in the bodice is all smashed, I hope that pops back out before I have to wear it.”

I zipped everything up and quickly took stock of how everything fit. Bodice — too big. Skirt — too long. Could I do the alterations myself? Probably not. So my heart sank a little bit as I stepped out of the dressing room in this still-too-big dress that was supposed to be mine, and yet didn’t quite feel like it. I think when I came out I said something along the lines of, “Alright…so.” I wasn’t really sure what to say — I was ecstatic that my dress was here and that I was about to see what my whole ensemble would look like together, but at the same time sorely disappointed at how poorly the dress fit.

Emily and Elayne gushed and I giggled right along with them — holy cow, self, stop being such a downer, this is your wedding dress! Emily helped me into my jewelry and shoes, and then up I stepped onto the pedestal to don my bolero, veil, and hair clip. Elayne showed Emily how to tie my sash in a bow, and to finish I pinned on my borrowed brooch, and that was that. When I looked at myself in the mirror all done up I couldn’t believe it — I was a bride. A real life bride! I just stood and stared with this dumbfounded grin on my face. Emily did the same thing. A bunch of random passerby told me how gorgeous I looked. A little girl in a flower girl dress stood and stared at me. Elayne kept saying, “That’s my bride! That’s my bride, ladies!” She called some coworkers over to show me off to them. I just kept staring, dumbstruck, and thanking people who complimented me. It was very strange to be the center of attention and be told how pretty I look or how “bridal” I look by random passerby — I didn’t quite know how to handle it. I’m usually not the center of attention. I suppose it’s good practice for the wedding day, though.

After a few more minutes of fussing and froofing and giggling, I changed back into my regular clothes and Emily and I headed back to my house. We holed up in the guest bedroom while Jason was safely outside doing yardwork, and I put my dress and accessories back on to take some better photos and freak out a little more. By this time it was starting to sink in — I was a bride. I’m going to get married! I’m having a wedding! I get to have a husband! — and the disappointment of the dress not fitting was wearing off. When I was in a room just with Emily, who has seen me naked probably hundreds of times and seen me in plenty of ill-fitting clothes, I felt less awkward about wearing a dress that didn’t look the best on me, and was constantly nip slipping any time I stopped holding it up. Plus I was just excited to have it home. So we took some more pictures, I fooled around in front of the mirror, we screamed and shouted “DON’T COME IN!!” when Jason came by to tell us he was getting in the shower (the door was shut tight, I don’t know what we were afraid of), I probably babbled a lot because that’s what happens when I’m nervous/excited, and finally the tiny room got too warm so I disrobed once again and we put my dress in its resting place in the guest closet for the next bunch of months.

Now, here’s where things get interesting. Sunday morning I went back in to look at it (I was going to try it on with a more padded bra of mine to see if I could fill out the too-big top — it didn’t work, by the way) and noticed that the side seam on the outer layer of chiffon was coming unsewn. I gasped and recoiled as if I’d been burnt by touching it — I just could not believe it. I’d barely worn the dress for thirty minutes and yet here it was, coming apart already. What would happen on the wedding day? Would it just unravel and fall right off my body?! This, coupled with some stress about something else wedding-related recently, led me to have my first breakdown. I’m embarrassed to admit that this even happened, but I guess I’ve gotten a little burned out on wedding stuff lately — and this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I slunk downstairs to Jason and cried to him about how I hated this wedding and I don’t even want it and we should just eat the money we’ve spent so far and go to a courthouse. I just want to be his wife, dammit, why do we have to put on this big production in order to achieve that??

But, sweetheart that he is, he reminded me that this will all be worth it, that once the wedding comes we will forget about all this stress and just enjoy the day, that it will be so worth it for all the memories we get to create and happiness we’ll get to experience. He reminded me that it’s important to us to have our families there to celebrate — I want my damn grandma to see me get married! — and that if we dropped everything and went to the courthouse, we wouldn’t get that. He reminded me that, when people bring me down about choices we’ve made (this is related to the other wedding stressor, which shall remain unexplained as I don’t want to cause drama), I fully deserve to stand up for myself and for us and our wedding — we’re doing things the way we want, I chose my dress and we chose the colors and the style and everything we wanted, because it’s exactly that: what we want. When people make rude remarks about it, I am fully justified in firmly telling them that yes, we’re doing it this way, because it is what we want, and if you don’t like it you don’t have to come/participate/whatever. End of story. I tend to be a doormat so being reminded of this really helped.

So, enough talking, right? Dress picture time? Alright, but first –

Jason, do not read any further!

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That was an exact thought that crossed my mind when I tried on what wound up being my wedding band. (Of course I did not voice this out loud, because I’m pretty sure Jason and the jeweler would have thought I was nuts, but I’m airing my crazy thoughts out on my blog for all to see — don’t you just feel special to be privy to such information?)

As you may have guessed, this past weekend we went shopping for wedding bands.

Well, in reality, we’ve actually been shopping for a month, because Miss Indecisive over here could not figure out what she wanted. Jason, the portrait of decisiveness, knew exactly what he wanted as soon as he tried it on on the very first shopping trip back in the beginning of July. In every subsequent store we went into, he went to that very same style every single time. He knew he wanted white gold because other popular metals right now (tungsten, titanium, cobalt, stainless steel, etc.) just didn’t quite measure up — from their inability to be engraved or resized, to their penchant for either scratching easily or shattering, none of them sounded very appealing to him. Yellow gold isn’t his thing, and he knew he didn’t want something super shiny, so diamonds and polished finish were out. He ended up choosing this lovely satin-finish, bevel-edge band that I showed you before:

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That website is still the top contender for best prices, and they include free engraving to boot, so now he just needs to decide what millimeter width he wants, and then we can order it.

Me, on the other hand, decided I wanted something different in every new store we went to. In one store I’d like the prong-set rings, in other stores I’d like the plain gold milgrain edge rings, in yet other stores I’d like the round pavé styles. Every time we’d leave a store I’d feel 100% certain about what I wanted, and yet every time we’d go into a new store I’d change my mind completely.

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After a few confusing shopping trips, I sat down with myself and tried to figure out what I objectively wanted in a wedding ring. Ultimately I knew I needed my ring to have these traits:

-Somewhat hefty/have a “presence” on my finger, but don’t completely overshadow my engagement ring
-Could be worn on its own without looking funny
-Durable; I don’t take my rings off much and I’m pretty clumsy and rough with my hands
-Have a good ratio of gold to stones
-Be engravable
-Compliment my engagement ring but not be too matchy-matchy

Most of these guidelines eliminated the thin, delicate/detailed bands — no pavé, no prong sets, no intricate carvings for crud to get stuck in. No ring wraps or contour bands either, as I couldn’t wear those on their own. And the more I thought about it the more I realized I didn’t want a plain band — it just felt a little bit too plain next to my channel set engagement ring.

One ring I kept coming back to was the 1/2 carat round channel set band. It fit all of my guidelines, and, well, “felt” the most married. But with all the gorgeous rings out there to choose from, I felt it was too plain, so I disregarded it every time and moved on.

Well, this past weekend we were at Zales looking around — it was the one local jewelry store we hadn’t gone into yet. I found a whole bunch of pretty rings there, in all shapes and sizes and styles, and their prices and, more importantly, customer service were by far the best we’d encountered so far. A lot of people don’t buy from chain jewelry stores for one reason or another, but I don’t have a problem with it as long as I’m treated nicely. This particular store was the first store in which we weren’t treated like jokers because of how far away our wedding is, or talked down to because of our ages.

We spent maybe 20 minutes in the store looking around, and then I found a small case with no signage in the back of the store, filled with all different kinds of rings. I asked the salesperson about them, and she said they were pre-owned rings and were sold at half price. They weren’t necessarily Zales rings, and they weren’t necessarily cast-offs from bad marriages — many people simply came to trade in their old jewelry for new upgrades. I decided to try some on, and lo and behold, what do I find but a 1/2 carat round channel set band. I tried it on for shits and giggles, thinking, eh, I’ll probably find something better, but the instant I put this particular band on, my stomach leapt and I said, “Wow. I really like that.”

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I don’t know what it was about this particular band as I’ve tried on about a zillion other 1/2 carat channel set bands, but I was really drawn to it. The size of the stones compared to the amount of gold on the edges was perfect. It was wide enough to have a presence on my hand yet still not completely overpower my engagement ring, and it looked great on its own too. It would be just wide enough to be engravable. It would be durable: channel settings are the hardest settings to lose stones from because the stones are literally wrapped in the metal. It’s also hard to crack a stone in a channel setting because whatever you whack your ring against will hit the metal first and not the stones. And most of all, it “felt married” to me — like I said, my finger felt married. I know it sounds silly but that’s the only way I can think to describe it.

So it fit all of my guidelines, but did it fit our budget? We were hoping to spend $500 or under on each of our rings, and this ring was — wait for it — $400! Most bands like this cost upwards of $700, but because it was pre-owned, it was discounted, yet still happened to be in mint condition — I could not see a single mark or sign of wear on it anywhere. It was perfect.

And so what did we do?

We put it back and left the store, because I still wasn’t ready to make a commitment, despite how much I loved that ring. Silly, right? But as we continued our shopping trip, my mind kept wandering back to that ring, and how perfect it felt and looked on my hand. I finally said to Jason, “You know, we could go put that ring on layaway…we’re never going to find a value this good again on that style ring, and that ring really was perfect.” He pondered and then agreed, and 20 minutes later we were back in the jewelry store putting a down payment on the ring. My ring! We have 10 months to pay off the layaway, but we plan to just do it in the next couple of months — $400 is by no means expensive, but we weren’t exactly planning to buy when we did, so we don’t just have an extra chunk of cash sitting around right now.

So now I have my wedding ring, and Jason has his picked out — that’s two more huge items crossed off the wedding to-do list! We’re really chugging away here. I thought August would be a slow wedding month because it seemed like we had nothing to do, but it has proven to be one of the most productive months thus far.

Was it easy for you to choose your wedding ring? What about your fiance(e)?

Let me show you a box.

It’s not really a special box; just a shoebox. But what it holds is pretty special.

This box sits in our guest room closet, along with my veil. It came with me the night I found my wedding dress, and it will come with me again when I go to pick it up, and will be in the girls’ suite on our wedding day. What’s in it, you ask?

Everyone knows the phrase, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue”. The “somethings” are thought to bring good luck to the bride, both on her wedding day and in her marriage. Now I don’t really believe in “good luck charms” or any of that jazz, but I’m a sentimental gal, so it seemed only natural that I would want to have these objects of such special meaning with me on my wedding day.

I didn’t necessarily have to go seeking or thinking about my somethings; they just sort of happened naturally as I started gathering my accessories. It started with my “something old”:

My grandma’s jewelry. My Grandma Sue was sort of an odd person: she worried a lot and fussed a lot and gave big, sloppy, wet kisses that I always hated. But I was her only grandchild, and boy did she ever love me, even if she did have an odd way of showing it.

Her and Pap’s house was like a time machine back to the 1950s. They were the idyllic 1950s couple. Grandma Sue was a spirited gal, Pap was a handsome Army boy. They married and wrote love letters to each other during Pap’s time in the war. Their house was full of mid-century goodness, and Grandma Sue’s jewelry drawer was no exception. And being the lucky granddaughter that I was, I got to play dress-up with her jewelry every Monday night when I went to their house. That bracelet and those earrings were always my absolute favorite things to wear, and when Pap passed away and we cleaned out their house, 12-year-old me insisted that we keep that jewelry.

Well, here I am a decade later getting ready for my wedding day, and I’m more glad than ever that my young self was so insistent. Of course back then I couldn’t fathom getting married at all or predict that I would want to wear these when I did, but when I first started pondering what jewelry to wear with my dress, it was a no-brainer that I would wear these. I didn’t even entertain the possibility of getting new jewelry. Grandma Sue passed away a year ago this month, and wearing this jewelry will be a nice way to have her with me on my wedding day.

My “something new” came next, with the purchase of my shoes:

Yes, black shoes.

I’m not a fan of the colored shoe trend right now, and I know I’d never wear white or ivory shoes again, so I figured, why not go with black? These shoes fit me like a glove (something that is rare for my feet), are comfortable and elegant, and I love the contrast of the deep black satin with my froofy ivory dress. Plus, they have infinite re-wear value — in fact, I’m wearing them to Jason’s cousin’s wedding in a couple weeks!

My “something borrowed” was the only one I really had to actively seek out. But I knew exactly who I wanted it to come from right off the bat. My MOH Emily and I have been friends for pretty much our entire lives, and we’ve been the same size for most of that time as well. As such, we’ve done our fair share of clothes borrowing, swapping, giving, and taking — I could not even begin to count the number of times we’ve worn each other’s clothes and jewelry. It’s sort of our “thing”. So I knew I wanted my something borrowed to be from her, and of course she laughed at the sentiment and happily obliged.

I decided I wanted to wear a brooch of some sort to accentuate my waist sash a little bit, and she presented me with this lovely one:

It’s mother of pearl, I believe, and vintage, and actually her mom’s — so it’s like a double-borrow, which is especially fitting because I even borrow things from her mom sometimes (though generally not clothes :P).

My “something blue” has a bit of a story attached to it, one that I don’t really want to share here because it is so personal. But I will tell you that it was gifted to me the morning of our first big dress shopping trip, from a group of the women in my family who have helped to raise me and shape who I am — and it means a whole heck of a lot to me.

My aunt (one of the group) said to me, “Now, you don’t have to wear it if it won’t match, we can just pin it somewhere…” but I don’t care that it doesn’t match — I wouldn’t consider wearing a different necklace even for a second. I love sapphires, I love journey pendants, and most of all I love the meaning behind this one, so it will be proudly on display on my neck, mismatched for all to see.

So that just about wraps up my wedding day ensemble — and my bolero should be arriving sometime today, so I should have it in my hands when I get home from work! That’s my whole outfit taken care of, and ooh I can’t wait to try it on all together on Saturday!! And then we can move on to other things, like dressing Jason, and the bridal party!

{All photos in this post are personal.}

Are you following the “somethings” tradition for your wedding? What are yours?

Yesterday morning my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t pick up; I figured, if it was important enough they’d leave a voicemail and I could get back to them. Well, about a minute later my phone buzzed again, alerting me to just that.

I tapped my way into my voicemail inbox and listened curiously.

“Hi Kelsey, this is David’s Bridal calling –”

Before it could get any further I squealed and looked at Jason with the biggest maniacal grin on my face. He raised his eyebrows as if to say, “What on earth could be that exciting?!” But I knew what it was. I barely even heard the rest of the message I was screeching and giggling so much.

“– share the wonderful news that the dress and sash you ordered –”

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!

“– ready for pickup! We wanted to see if you could come get it by August 27th, give us a call back…”

I dropped my phone on the couch and in the same instant turned to Jason and positively shrieked, “EEEEEEmyweddingdressistheretobepickedupahahahahahaha!!”

Of course, he didn’t quite get the excitement — after all, what does my dress really have to do with him? So I texted MOH Emily, but then remembered that she was in an area with little or no cell phone reception and probably would not get my messages for a while. So I texted bridesmaid/cousin Tricia and my aunt — they finally responded and I got to squee a little bit with them. Thank goodness because I was going a bit nuts trying to keep it contained! After all, when you feel like this:

you have to share with someone, right?

So the tentative plan is to wait until this Saturday, the 27th, to go pick it up, because Emily’s and my schedules don’t really match up until then, and I promised her that she would be the one with me when I go pick up my dress. This week is going to be a long one, knowing that on Saturday I get to pick up the prettiest and most meaningful dress I’ll ever own, but having to get through a 40-hour work week in the interim. I’m sure every evening I will be shutting myself in the guest bedroom (which has become the de facto “wedding stuff room”) and playing dress-up in my veil and jewelry — it’s the best way to pass the time, right? And OF COURSE I will be back on Saturday with as many pictures as I can muster.

How did you react when you got the call that your wedding dress was in? Or how do you think you’ll react?

Hi blog. Did you think I forgot about you? I didn’t, I promise. It’s just that my week this week has looked mostly like this:

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Noticing a trend? Yes, I have joined the corporate zombies of the world in my new 9-5 job, and I am not loving it so far. My day pretty much goes: Smash alarm clock from 5:30-6:00am then roll grudgingly out of bed –> Try to stay awake at boring job all day, clutch caffeinated beverage for dear life –> Home by 7pm, crash on couch and stare out glassy-eyed wondering whether it’s too early to go to sleep –> Crash into bed at 9:30pm. Rinse and repeat.

I’m sure things at work will get better once I start getting assigned actual tasks; since it’s my first week no one quite seems to know what to do with me yet. I’m sure this will change soon and I’m sure I’ll enjoy what’s given to me — that’s why I took this job, after all! But needless to say, adjusting to my new schedule has left me more than a little drained, and with zero time for blogging. Or wedding tasks at all, really. But I think my new M.O. will be to write all or most of my blog posts on weekends, and schedule them to go up throughout the week — that saves me all the work on the days when I’m exhausted, but still lets me write and have that creative outlet that I so need. I’ll start that this weekend and see how it goes.

In wedding-land, a few fairly uneventful things have happened this week:

-The bolero I decided on sold out, and when I asked the seller when she’d be restocking, she said she probably would not be making that style again. Just my luck, right? So, I’m back to square one there — but I think I’m now leaning towards Bolero #1 from that post. We’ll see.

-Jason picked his wedding band! Well, the style he wants, at least. This actually sort-of happened last month when we went wedding band shopping on our dating anniversary. He was immediately drawn to this bevel-edged, satin-finish style:

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The other day we went to the mall and looked at some jewelry stores for my band (because of course I have no idea what I want — I’ll have a post on that soon), and every time he looked at the mens’ wedding bands in the stores, he wound up liking that exact same style. So that is what he will get, in white gold. Now we’re just price comparison shopping to get the best deal, but I think the site linked above is definitely the winner so far!

-We booked our engagement photo session with our photographer! It’s set for mid-October in Shadyside, our old neighborhood, during the “golden hour” — the hour in the late afternoon when the sun is low on the horizon and everything is awash in warm light — exactly how I pictured the setting for these photos. I’m so excited. Now I just hope it doesn’t rain!

I think that is really everything that’s happened worth noting. I will be back with a post about my “somethings” and a more in-depth post about wedding bands next week — I promise!